The Old Me…

It’s been awhile, a long while, I know. The last year for me hasn’t been so great. But I’m not going to get into that now, because this post is actually a positive one. The main thing is, I’m trying to get back into my writing and I’ve also found the old me again.

For those of you that don’t know, I used to be a really good drawer and painter. I would spend hours upon hours drawing and painting, so much so that I would forget to eat and completely lose track of time, all because I was simply immersed in my art.
I would lose myself. I would lose myself to the outside world, to my reality and it made me feel free. But it’s been a long while since I’ve done any kind of artwork, yes I got into photography and yes I got into writing, and I love doing those just as much. But drawing has always been my first love.

I don’t know why I ever stopped, I can’t really answer that, but part of me thinks that it’s because the world itself took it from me, because once you enter the world of work, you’re made to believe that just getting any sort of job is the most important thing to do. You’re made to believe that ever getting to do what you love in life is impossible, because that’s the harsh reality of our world. And even though you have a skill and talent for something, and you know deep down, that that is what your expertise is, you still have to be validated for it. And I’m sorry, but I’m calling bullshit on that one! We are told all the time to believe in ourselves and to never stop, but then the world contradicts itself, because the world is what makes you think you aren’t good enough. So you’re left, in the end getting a job you hate, instead of doing the things you love, the things you know are your professions.
That’s why I think I gave up drawing, I doubted that I would get to do it as my job, because let’s face it, everyone knows the arts is the hardest industry to get in to. Nearly 2 years later, and I’m not even in the job I want to be in, that speaks volumes itself and it’s certainly not been for a lack of blood sweat and tears.

But recently I’ve been trying to change my mindset, and for me that’s not an easy feat. I’ve been trying to believe in myself more and I‘ve finally got back to my roots of drawing, it may not be the old fashioned way of pencil to paper, but it’s helped me find the old me again. And it’s helped me discover another skill and passion that I didn’t even realise I had. I think it’s also made me realise we can never stop learning and improving upon ourselves, not matter how old we get, or how stuck we may feel. It’s given me hope, that the more skills I discover and the more I create from them, and that determination and love for being creative, for drawing, for writing, for taking pictures, for designing, that someone somewhere, will see I’ve got a lot to give.

I don’t think I’m going to go into any detail about what I’m actually talking about, instead I‘m just going to show you what I’ve been creating recently – after all, a picture does speak a 1000 words – and examples of what more is to come…